Itinerary

Okay, I thought I should give people a heads up of when I was going to be where. So they could get out of dodge and avoid me more easily.

Tuesday May 8th. I will be arriving at San Fran in the morning, while at the same time still be packing frantically in Dunedin (where I don't leave till after lunch). The wonders of time travel, thrown in for free with my flights. That evening I fly both from Auckland to San Fran, and frm San Fran to Chicago.

Wednesday May 9th. I leave Chicago not long after arriving, and get to Kalamazoo in time for breakfast. I have a room from noon onward. For the next few days I conference.

Saturday May 12th. I present the yet uncompleted paper on Gawain to a hopefully not too large or mean audience. That night I get trolleyed in front of many academics - whom will hopefully all be too drunk to notice the funny antipodean retard.

Sunday May 13th. Conference ends about lunch. In the evening I board a Greyhound for Toronto. The aim is to sleep on the bus.

Monday May 14th. Arrive in Toronto at 6:30 in the morning and have absolutely nothing sorted, not even accommodation. May go to Niagara for the day. Or homo-marry a random. Will probably Youth Hostel for the night - I should really sort that.

Tuesday May 15th. Leave Toronto mid-afternoon for Vancouver. Will spend about three times as long in the plane as will have passed in the outside world. Again with the time travel. once in Vancouver, will climb on a boat to go stalk Elvis Costello in Nanaimo. Eventually find my family.

No plans for the following two weeks as I'm expecting family will have made plans for me.

Wednesday? May 30th. Get back to Vancouver, climb on a plane for home.

Thursday May 31st. Will not exist, Gods will steal this day from me in some sort of divine punishment for my whole time travelling gig weeks earlier. I shall feel robbed.

1 June. Wellington. Will visit there, staying with ex-fiancée and her current fiancé-wot-she-is-actually-marrying for a few days (I got those the right way around, right? Stupid frog-spelling).
Then head south, visit Christchurch for a day or two depending on if anyone will house me, then return home to see how much everyone has entirely failed to miss me.